He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
