a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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