I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
