New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
