i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
