So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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