dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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