You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Boobs speak an international language.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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