Kiss
Puke
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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