we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
