so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
