You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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