So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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