'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
