I just saw a hot homeless man
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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