would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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