i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
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Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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