Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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