he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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