i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Someone signed my nipple.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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