so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
