stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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