Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I will pee on everything he values.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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