he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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