soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize