Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
