Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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