I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
