Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
