For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
