Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
