The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
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