having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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