even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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