when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
