We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize