You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize