We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
