I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
