I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
