Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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