We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
