The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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