My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
