I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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