david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he told me I talked like a deaf person
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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