so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
