More tranny stories later!
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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