Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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