They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
