Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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