Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
