I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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