you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize