tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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