The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
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