Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just threw up on my dentist
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
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Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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