So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
