Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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