Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
