People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
