We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
