We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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