she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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