She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
