i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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