Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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