I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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