You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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