you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
